Awkward..

So, I decided a long time ago that my life was pretty much composed of awkward moments. Okay, not the whole thing... but quite a large, substantial part of it (: Haha.

I'm in the mood to say something quite bold, something that will just knock you off your feet and get a huge reaction. Alas, I don't quite know what to say.

What's the most shocking thing about me?

Hm...

I really dislike ground beef. That's not too shocking though. The texture is just sick. Childhood memories of gagging down a hamburger patty...blegh.

But that's quite a depressing subject, so I'll change it.

How about this?

I have never kissed a boy.

That's right.

Never.

Shocking, right?

Totally, completely crazy!

18 years old, a freshman in college, and I have never had that experience.
Yeah.
Now, hopefully you are recovering from your moment of complete surprise
Take some deep breaths, get up from the floor, and listen up, because I'll explain a bit

It's not that I haven't dated alot, or gotten really close to a guy before.

 I have just never been... physically close.

I'm not quite sure why.

In middle school there were quite a few guys who I think would have gone for it
in fact, they did try a few times.
one guy, a random stranger I met that night, even tried to smooch me 10 times in one night.
Not even exaggerating, it may have been more.
oh, stake dances... but that's a story for another day.
 anyways, I waited to start dating until I was 16.

Then, when that coveted, long awaited day came, there were no young men I was interested in.

Honest, cross my heart, pinky promise

After that, the guys I got close to just never went for it.
Not sure why there, either. I heard that going for it can be kind of scary & intimidating.
Especially when you really like someone.
 But that's just a thought.

So... yeah. Now I'm dating around, all that fun jazz

and this quote from Captain America (I know - I'm a TOTAL cheeseball)

pretty much sums up how I feel on this subject

Steve Rogers: I know this neighborhood. I got beat up in that alley. And that parking lot. And behind that diner.
Peggy Carter: Did you have something against running away?
Steve Rogers: You start running they'll never let you stop. You stand up, push back. Can't say no forever, right?
Peggy Carter: I know a little of what that's like. To have every door shut in your face.
Steve Rogers: I guess I just don't why you'd wanna join the army if you're a beautiful dame. Or a beautiful...a woman. An agent, not a dame! You are beautiful, but...
Peggy Carter: You have no idea how to talk to a woman, do you?
Steve Rogers: This is the longers conversation I've had with one. Women aren't exactly lining up to dance with a guy they might step on.
Peggy Carter: You must have danced?
Steve Rogers: Well, asking a woman to dance always seems so terrifying. And the past few year just didn't seem to matter that much. Figured I'd wait.
Peggy Carter: For what?
Steve Rogers: Right partner.

Yep. Believe it or not, dear world that I live in, I am waiting for the right partner

When it feels right, and it means something

more then having fun, or a one night stand, or a one week fling
or just kissing someone to get that first kiss over with

I know eventually that partner is going to come around sometime,

when the time is right

and it'll happen

and it'll be wonderful (:

and I know it's going to be worth it (: