A Note on Trust

I realize I blogged like two days ago, so I apologize if I'm being a bit overbearing this week. I usually don't write this much :) But recently in a conversation an interesting thing came up, and I felt maybe I should write about it.

So this person and I were talking, and this question came up: "How can I trust you?" I was caught off guard (it happens quite frequently with this person), so I stammered a bit, then said "because I do the things I say I'm going to do". That seemed to satisfy the person, and they just kept talking, but for some reason that question really struck me, and I kept thinking about it.

Obviously, trust is extremely important. Honestly, I believe it's vital to any meaningful relationship - whether parent and child, friend to friend, husband and wife, brother and sister, ect. Once it's broken it can be very difficult to repair, and takes alot of time. I don't think it's impossible to repair, but I think it is one of the most difficult to regain.

Trust has played a major factor in my life. To be honest, I have always been a bit afraid to trust others. I think some of this comes from experiences I've had as a child. Although I have an absolutely wonderful family, having my parents divorce brought on alot of trust issues. Your parents are kind of your rock as a child, atleast for me, and it was difficult and painful and confusing to have that be broken. Suddenly both parents had sometimes conflicting points of view. As a kid, I was just left hanging, wondering how on earth I would know which one is right. As I've grown up, I look back and understand, and I don't worry about that anymore. It's not my place to judge, and I love them. But from this experience I grew, because instead of choosing to place my trust completely in my parents or other people, I learned to put my trust in the Lord. This has impacted completely the person I am and my life, and I will be forever grateful I learned that - because that is the faith that will never lead me astray.

 However, because of these issues of trust, I have also always been wary on which friends and people I trust. I have always been very careful who I let close to me. Honestly, this is probably why I have yet to smooch a man, let alone 'getting serious' with anyone.
The last few years, but this one especially as I've reached adulthood & have major decisions coming up , I have consistently pondered - how can I know who to trust?

As a person, I know I am trustworthy. I mean, this is the girl who in high school, when a boy liked her and she liked the boy back, felt bad flirting with someone else. This is the girl who worked at a pizza shop, and whenever she accidentally forgot to ring up a customer for cheesy bread before they left, she would buy it for them. (I probably spent over $40 because of that over the two years, sadly, haha). This is the girl who emailed her professor the other day to tell him she probably shouldn't have put her name on the group worksheet, because she didn't read the book - it hadn't come in the mail yet - and thus didn't give a substantial share enough of work to earn credit, and let him know to grade fairly.

I'm not saying these things to say yay me, or to brag or anything like that. In so stretch of the imagination am I near being perfect or anything, and I absolutely do not want to brag - I have no claim whatsoever to judge myself better then anyone. I guess I just say this because integrity is a leading factor of my character. I try to be completely honest and true in what I know is right, even - and especially when - nobody else is looking, or would ever know.

When it comes to trusting others, I think it comes to things such as deeds, not words. If they are consistently true to what they say and believe. I think it's important to give people the benefit of doubt, because sometimes there are things happening you don't know about. I know sometimes trust is put into the wrong person, and feeling betrayed hurts. It has happened in my life. I think it happens to everyone at one time or another. As I've thought about it, though, I think it would hurt more in the end to know that you were the betrayer-er. If that makes any sense? I think that would be a truly awful, guilty, self loathing feeling. So I think that is why I do my best to be honest. I couldn't bear knowing I hurt someone's trust for me!

Okay, I have written so much, this is quite enough.

 I would just like to say on a last note, in the end, sometimes people you love most will break your trust. It will hurt, and you might wonder how you can ever trust anyone again. These moments are where it is most important, and the most healing, to remember the one true Friend you can always trust. Through every trial and moment in life, even when you feel completely alone, He is always there. I love my Savior, Jesus Christ, and I know He lives, and loves everyone, even when we break our promises to Him or don't appreciate Him. I know He is always there, waiting with loving arms and forgiveness, and with knowledge to give us on how to find true happiness, if we just come to Him, and trust in Him. That is the most important trust we can ever gain - to have faith in Him and what He did for us, what He can do for us, if we allow ourselves to place our trust and heart in Him. And I know if we do that, He will help us to remember the great love He has for everyone...
.. and He will help us to know who we can place our trust in, who we can give our heart and trust to.
and, this is a novel. It's a beautiful Sunday, and church is soon, so I'll finally stop rambling. the end, for now. Happy Sabbath :)

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.