Awkward & Awesome





Awkward

Wearing heels that I discover are a bit too big on the way to class (I tried them on with socks on in the store... thought size 6 would be okay, I'm size 5 1/2, but thought wrong... not the brightest move) and find I am totally hobbling. I can't walk above, like, 1 mile an hour! So I stopped in a bathroom to shove some toilet paper at the back of my shoes, made it safely to class, sat through, then hobbled/attempted to walk back to my car... I made it all the way to the sidewalk, then wham! I tripped, totally duked it out off the sidewalk into a pile of mud.. right in front of a guy walking my way. He grinned, and I just didn't look at him, my face bright red, as I ducked back in my car (the passenger side, because it's the closest and I felt so stupid, so I just pretended I was waiting for someone in my own car... haha) Embarassing.

Told my family this funny experience from class. Story is, girl saw guy was checking her out all class, when class got out guy stayed in his seat waiting for girl to get up, girl gets up really fast, gives her paper to the professor, and goes out the door kinda quick so guy wouldn't walk with her... I feel a bit guilty admitting this. Anyways, my brother cracks up and informs me that I'm a guy's worst nightmare. (I totally deny this statement.)

Driving down the freeway to work, right after English class. Looked in my rearview mirror, and saw an unmistakable poof of curly gray hair - my English professor was driving right behind me! He took the I-95 toward Washington exit, off toward home I'm guessing. Weird that this average joe holds my grade for this semester in his hands.

Awesome

Drawing professor. I reached a point on my drawing where I didn't know what else to do, so I started filling in patterns that looked kind of 3d. He came to me and said, "What are you doing? You are a talented artist, I've watched you. This pattern stuff - this is filling in. This is not you!" I laughed, because he was dead right! I was totally just filling in. He critiques in a way that totally inspires me to do better and work harder. So I immediately set to work on drawing over the patterns "with a purpose" instead of just filling in. He's awesome! I'm learning a ton!

Going with the missionaries for discussions with another girl at UMW! Spirit is so strong, have an awesome time, and hearing the most astounding stories from the Elders.

Having comfort that tough things bring strength, and can add depth to character & help one to gain compassion for others who are going through the same thing or much worse.

Actually being social for once! I thought college would be a total party? Yeah.. no. I mean, yeah. But after work, school, church, and everything else, it is so hard to have the energy to go hang out with someone. But I had a much needed spontaneous girl's night with Tatiana, this super fun girl, and it was great! Bought shoes & feather earrings (totally out of my fashion comfort zone), went to Crave (I'm so addicted), went to Wegman's (ate seaweed, Japanese candy, & Japanese soda with a marble in it), went to Charming Charlies (adorable), tried Chick fil A sauce for the first time (amazing) and listened to Jack Johnson! I've been feeling like a 30 year old woman lately (not that that's a bad thing) so it was sooo nice to do something my age again.

I would like to defend myself in one thing, before I end today -

I'll admit I'm not smooth with the flirting/dating scene. Honestly, when I wrote that I laughed, because not smooth is a bit of an understatement. However, in my life I've experienced a lot. Through these experiences I've learned that other things, like being kind, a hard worker, selfless, honest, and just good are a lot more important. These are the things that I try to focus on, and it doesn't leave much room for caring that much about, let alone being, smooth or flirtatious.There are much worse things then not being good with guys! And all that matters is being good with one, or finding one that see's the qualities that really matter. He's going to have to be a pretty awesome guy to get past my awkwardness, but I'm not worried. I know he's out there somewhere (: As my Daddy loves to say, with so many diverse, different people in the world, there is truly someone for everyone. I don't mean there is one specific dream person, as much as I mean there is the knowledge that there is atleast one guy out there who will love me despite my awkward moments. In fact, maybe they will make him laugh, and he'll find them endearing! And once I really know someone, the awkwardness goes away. I'm not awkward with people I really know & feel comfortable with. That just takes time to build up. It's just getting through that first stage that's a bit interesting sometimes. So, there is my defense. There you go, Dexter (: