Standing With Courage

So, pretty much every Conference, I feel like there's always at least one or two talks that fit the theme of my life for a few months. Pres. Monson's Dare to Stand Alone and Stand in Holy Places are definitely for these past few weeks

What do  you do when your asked to read a book in your college course that is completely inappropriate, and reading it would go against your moral & religious standards and beliefs?
 The more I read, the more I felt uncomfortable and knew because of my standards, I should not be reading it. I kept wondering and wondering what to do, because technically it was for school, and I'm not reading it for entertainment, and I would never, ever read it in casual life. But then one night I went and read Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley's Way to Be.

Among the chapters I read, I read the one titled Be Clean, and these parts really stuck out to me.
After telling a childhood story about cleaning wallpaper & how doctors would put up signs for smallpox to avoid contamination in society, Pres. Hinckley says this

Thus we learned that things look and feel better when they're clean, and to stay away from areas that were not clean. Those practices have served me well, for we live in a world that reeks of evil. It is all around us. It is on the television screen. It is at the movies. It is in the popular literature. It is on the Internet. It is in the lyrics of popular songs. It is available through the telephone. You can't afford to watch or listen to it. You cannot afford to let that filthy poison touch you. Stay away from it. Avoid it. Shun it like the plague.
Pornography... is like corrosive salt. It will eat through your armor if you expose yourself to it. It will corrode your morals, your values, and your sense of self worth... Stay away from pornography as you would avoid a serious disease. In essence, place a bright orange warning sign with black letters in front of any source of sexually salacious material.

The book I was assigned wasn't a dirty magazine, or a movie. But the things it contained had the same feeling around them. I knew I couldn't read it without compromising my values & staying clean.

So I talked to my professor. I told him I understand how important it is to study and understand other cultures and human experience. Those things are really valuable. But the author of this novel addresses the issues in such a way that I knew I couldn't read it without compromising my moral & religious values. He was very kind, and I knew he would try and help me. But he stayed firm in saying that he wouldn't give me an alternate assignment. I was disappointed. I was frustrated. I knew I could easily get an A in the class, and I take school seriously. I'm a hard worker, and put a lot of effort and time into getting good grades. I told him that. But then I respectfully informed him that I would not read the book. I would work as hard as I could in all of my other assignments to still get a good grade and be a hard working student in his class, but I wouldn't read it. I told him I knew I wouldn't get the best grade, but I knew it's worth the sacrifice.
That was a really cheesy end line, and I'm sure I could have worded it better, but oh well. Sometimes cheesy is effective.
Anyways, I am stressed. I can't help letting some of the stress get to me, I'm human. But inside I know that it'll work out. Hopefully I'll be switching into another class after meeting with someone in the University. I'm going to work so hard to get a good grade and still learn, whether in my class or in the one I switch into. But even if I end up barely passing because  I'm behind, I know it'll be worth it. Looking at the eternal scheme of things, one withdrawn class or failed class isn't going to mean much. As big a deal as it seems now.
Later, as I was talking to my Mom, she said something that gave me a totally different perspective. She said that with paying tuition, paying for textbooks, doing all the homework, reading and everything, really the details I learn in class probably won't be there too long. But the lesson I'm learning now, to stand for what I know to be true and what is right - that lesson is more valuable then anything else I could learn in that class!

I also thought more, I've been thinking a to - o - on, and this is probably going to sound silly, but I thought about my future kids and family. I thought about the type of people that I want them to be. and I knew that to realistically want and help them to be like that, I need to set an example, even in my life now.
So, with these perspectives, I know it will be okay. Of course it will.
I'm thinking of transferring to another school. It would be so nice to be in an environment where I wouldn't have to worry about stuff like this. I'm not sure if I will yet or not. I've applied. But we'll see. But whatever happens, I'll be true to myself and to God, and I know the rest will fall into place. I know it's worth it!