So, it's almost one o clock in the morning.

And I can't sleep. What's new? So, I'm going to blog (: It's Christmas eve.. not my family's Christmas eve, but for the rest of the world, it is. It's been an interesting Christmas for me. First of all, it's been so weird not being in choir. I will always look back at singing to all sorts of people, from elementary school kids to crowds at temple square to people who could most use the Christmas spirit in hospitals and care homes, accompanied with my best friends, as one of the most joyful times of my life (: That was so amazing. Looking back, we were just so sweet and cheesy and good. What an awesome thing I was able to be a part of. This Christmas, I haven't been able to see all of my family. I haven't seen my Daddy and Mom for 7 months now. That's weird. I miss them, a ton. and Papa and Farmor, and Mormor and my aunts and uncles, especially during this time of year. It's also been odd having a 50 degree Christmas - no snow! We had dew and fog on Christmas morning... funky!


However, looking back on this year and this season, I have learned so much. It astonishes me every time I look into my past to see how much has happened in my life, what great changes have occured, how one experience led to the next, and how all these things have helped me develop and grow and stretch and become stronger. Often with growing pains, and great joys along the way. But it's definitely been a process. It just awes me every time. and it truly reminds me of who is in charge - and how much of His love He has shown me, in how He has guided me and touched my life. I am one of the most imperfect people I know. Even with everything I know to be true, I just mess up every single day. Everytime I read my scriptures or pray or see someone serve another is a reminder to me that I need to be better. But even with all this, I know with all the growing pains and sorrows and awkwardness that comes with ever reaching higher, I know that the Savior will always be there to help me. My Mommy and I were watching byu tv tonight, and they were featuring this man in the Mormon Tab Choir from London named Alex Boye. This guy is incredible, I definitely recommend looking at his life & testimony. It is so inspiring. Anyways, he sang this song, which is a passionate African American southern spiritual, and it really touched me


I want Jesus to walk with me
I want Jesus to walk with me
All along my pilgrim journey
I want Jesus to walk with me

In my trial, Lord, walk with me
In my trials, Lord, walk with me
When the shades of life are falling
Lord, I want Jesus to walk with me

In my sorrow, Lord walk with me
In my sorrows, Lord walk with me
When my heart is aching Lord,
I want Jesus to walk with me 

In my troubles, Lord walk with me
In my troubles, Lord walk with me
When my life becomes a burden,
Lord,
 I want Jesus to walk with me

I love gospel/spiritual music. It's so powerful. Music is such an incredible influence. It can be used so destructively, but can also be one of the greatest forces of good, ever. I find so many things in music I want to put in my life - strength to make it through hard times, joy and praise, relaxation & enjoying the simple things of life, sad heartfelt ones that make you cry, and just uplifting, inspiring music. It's so great.

Especially Christmas music. I love most Christmas songs (except the waily ones),  but for tonight, I feel like sharing this one. It isn't a traditional Christmas hymn, but it's one that has strengthened me and been with me throughout many years. Singing it has helped me remember Christ, and feel Him close to me when I need strength and comfort. What a beautiful night it must have been, so long ago, when angels and shepherds came to greet their King, born in a manger, under the star in the humble stable. What beautiful hope His life gives. I know my Savior lives.

Merry Christmas~

I know that my Redeemer lives;
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, He lives, who once was dead;
He lives, my ever living Head.

He lives to bless me with His love,
He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed,
He lives to help in time of need.

He lives triumphant from the grave,
He lives eternally to save,
He lives all glorious in the sky,
He lives exalted there on high.

He lives to grant me rich supply,
He lives to guide me with His eye,
He lives to comfort me when faint,
He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.

He lives to silence all my fears,
He lives to wipe away my tears
He lives to calm my troubled heart,
He lives all blessings to impart.

He lives, my kind, wise, heavenly Friend,
He lives and loves me to the end;
He lives, and while He lives, I’ll sing;
He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.

He lives and grants me daily breath;
He lives, and I shall conquer death:
He lives my mansion to prepare;
He lives to bring me safely there.

He lives, all glory to His Name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet, the joy this sentence gives
I know that my Redeemer lives!