Kids leaving, wishing I could go with them.
Awkward dating experiences. and disappointing. Disheartening. Embarassing.
and then, realize that I'm being a bit spoiled, and self centered.
Trying to find a way to distract myself.
Going running for an hour this morning.
Taking a nap.
Then my Mom mentioning even though things can be depressing,
there's some fine young men coming over
who sacrifice so much and have given their whole life
and who are far away from home this Christmas
who could really use our Christmas spirit to be there
So, going to find presents for these awesome young men
who have dedicated so much time and service to the Lord
Some ties, darth vader backpack, m&m candy canes, bandanas, slippers
pretty silly stuff
and then wrapping it, and putting care into it
including personalized name tags for their darth vader/mario backpacks
and slowly realizing that the more I try to serve them
and think about them, and how much they have sacrificed, and what good people they are
the more humble I become
and the happier I become that I can serve them, in my own little way
Then, at the end of the night, the night before our Christmas, before the kids leave
looking around at my warm, beautiful, safe house
and the abundance of good food and drink that we have,
the Christmas decorations and many presents under the tree
my brothers & sisters looking in the sky for Santa & reindeer
and getting to sing hymns about the Savior's birth
and remembering again, how incredibly blessed I am. What a life of abundance I live,
with my family around me, warmth and fun, crazy experiences
everything that I could ever need, and the simple things I want
having hope for my future, and what a bright one lies ahead of me
if I keep doing my best, and remembering what really, truly matters
and remember that the more I lose myself in service, the more I will find me
everything will be okay (: I know it will.