that one day I built a ladder

andd this is why I love the country. 

We have this awesome barn up behind the house, and it has this wonderful, spacious attic up above. The moment I saw it, I knew it would be such a cool place to paint! Soo I decided to build a ladder to get up there. I went to Lowes and bought the lumber & the nails. I cut the wood, measured and hammered, and hammered some more, and painted. It was hard work! But so rewarding. I love that feeling when you work so hard outside, and you can see the difference your work made. My sweat and blood made that ladder, haha. (: Anyways, I wanted it to be a charming ladder, so I painted the names of some of my favorite horses from when I was a kid on each of the steps. The Black Stallion, Flame, Black Beauty, Seabiscuit... it's a pretty illustrious list. So fun (:

rainy days & strummin'

poor Jacob, being sick :(

our goofy but awesome watchdog (:

 Some days it just rains and rains and rains outside, and for some reason it just drains the energy right outta ya. All you can do is stay inside, read some Jane Austen, eat some sunflower seeds, and strum some on your guitar. (when I say strum, I mean slowly learning to play from the beginner of beginners books... but I can play simple songs now (: ) This summer is gonna be... interesting. Work has been fantastic, catering at all these fun joints with awesome people that I absolutely LOVE (and sometimes cuss like sailors) make it an adventure and hilarious. Being home has been great too, with my family. I love being with my brothers and sisters, and getting close to them again, since I've been gone. I feel a little bit like Sleeping Beauty though... there aren't too many people my age around, so while my friends are all getting married or going on missions, I'm just in my pretty little house in the woods with my family and my horses. It's a wee bit lonely sometimes.Which isn't bad - sometimes you just have to let yourself feel what you feel, and just accept it. But you let yourself feel it, and then you remember all the amazing blessings you have in your life - like the beautiful world right outside, my awesome family, great books... the list is endless. and it gives you a chance to come closer to God, and to look really deeply in yourself and figure things out. And when you come closer to Him, and understand yourself, you don't feel so lonely anymore. Especially when you realize there are people out there you can get to know, who normally you wouldn't have a chance to. So that's been a huge blessing. It'll be a good summer. :)

 (.... and, I may or may not be picking up a Southern twang. Hopefully I don't sound like I'm coming from Dixie when I get back to school, but we'll see!)

love DC.

Vietnam Memorial.

the perfect sitting tree, on the mall

blossoms outside the National Art Gallery

visitors, from all over the world

I never feel like I'm completely home until I make a trip up to DC. Not sure why, I just can never seem to get enough of this place. I absolutely love it. Especially with the perfect sunshine, the cool breeze, walking down the mall with the tree branches making a perfect arch over the pathway...

it's gorgeous.

not much more to say, besides DC is wonderful, and it's going to be a lovely summer.

love DC.

the day I met a motorcycle biker

So a few days ago was the first warm, summery, beautiful goodness weather day that you can't help but go outside in. I can't remember what we were doing, but my friend Raquel and I decided to go get some refreshing cold icees. We excitedly stopped at one gas station, and they didn't have any! Their machine was out of order. So, we decided to go to the next one a ways up the road. We drove with the windows down, enjoying the gorgeous day, listening to a fun indie band - the hunts. (p.s. check them out. perfect summery music.) When we drove into the parking lot, it was abnormally busy - cars and motorcycles and people all over the place. So, I cruised into the only parking spot open - which happened to be in the middle of a huge herd of rough, tough, rumblin' motorcycle riders. An especially tall, large man stood next to his fancy bike next to my door, munching on some sort of  sugary snack. I felt just a tiny bit conspicuous as I opened my door, because they were all just standing there, eating, staring at us. Raquel & I opened our doors supperr carefully, but it was a bit close, and mine came pretty close to tapping his fancy motorcycle. I looked at him, and he looked at me seriously, and I gave him a half apologetic grin - kind of scared, honestly. He looked down at me, and said

"You know, I've never punched a girl - but there's a first time for everything".

Hahaha, I was really, truly threatened by a hulking motorcycle biker.

I had this overwhelming laughter start bubbling out of me, so I just gave him another grin and Raquel and I ran into the safety of the gas station, where we promptly busted out laughing.

It was a slightly terrifying experience - not gonna lie.

This past week was awesome, but this coming week the stress is getting to me. I'm going to miss my friends - so, so much. It's really sad to say bye to people, and not know when the next time is that you'll see them, or if you ever will again. 

However, I'm not going to be sad that it's over - I'm going to be happy that it happened. And just because we won't be at school with each other doesn't mean that those friendships will end. Of course not! (: I'm so grateful for the impact they've all had on my life - I've definitely changed into a better person because of them.

It's hard to not let stress affect how you treat other people. I'm ashamed to say that I've found sometimes I get so wrapped up in my little bubble of worry and anxiety that I disconnect with the people around me - and that's really sad. It's so easy to do. What is it with our society that people can be facebook friends & interact online, but don't even say hi in real life? It's an odd world we live in.

People here at SVU are awesome examples though - so many of my peers always say hello, with a smile on their face, and genuinely care about and are interested in others. I definitely want to be that type of person - the person who can brighten other people's days and help them feel just accepted and understood and loved. I know the people who have been that sort of person to me have made a huge difference in my life.

The stress of finals are getting to me, and I can't wait to go home to that lovely home with the river and the horses and my brothers and sister and my family. Right now my heart just wants to be outside,  enjoying the beautiful mountains and forests and rivers, with no company but myself and the peaceful countryside. 

However, I'm not going to let my stress totally overcome me. There are much worse things than getting a lower grade in Spanish, especially if I did my very best. And there are people out there who need friendship and need to be served and cared about, and that work is probably far more important then the finals that I'm so stressed about.

So, it will be alright. I'll do my best, and life will still be good. (:

spring is coming

Spring is finally here. It is absolutely beautiful outside - the blossoms blooming in the trees, the sunlight warming the earth and bringing all the lovely plants back to life, and making my heart want to be outside as much as possible, whether taking pictures or walking with friends or just enjoying the sunlight and the beauty. It takes my breath away.

It's been becoming spring inside of me too, lately. The chill and the fog of confusion and doubt and fear is starting to melt away, and light is coming. I can feel it. 

Today is April 7th, 2013. 

Twelve years ago today, I was baptized. Even as an eight year old girl, I could feel in my heart Heavenly Father's love for me. Sometimes - when I read the scriptures or pray or tell Him my sorrows or sorry for things I've done wrong - I still feel that love, so strongly, in my heart. 

I have been so blessed in my life. My family is incredible. I live in a country where I am safe, where I have clean water and an abundance of every need, where I have the freedom to make my own choices and choose my life path. I've been born of good parents, who love me, and want the best for me.

I am so grateful for my life, for my family. For my wonderful, wonderful friends. And for my Heavenly Father, who loves me, and will never forsake me. Who loves me enough to teach me hard things, and patiently teaches me simple truths - even though it can take me a long time to understand

My heart is so filled with gratitude today, and I hope to take what I've learned and ponder it, and study it in my mind. I want to act on what I've learned - even in small ways. I want to grow, and be able to be strong, and be able to help others. I believe, if I just live doing these simple things, with gratitude and trying to be humble and selfless, that life will be very, very happy, and immensely fulfilling.
Spring is coming. (: